User blog:The Nameless Lancer/Ranking All Bloodborne Bosses
I love boss fights. Every boss fight is unique in some way, and that is what makes them so great. I want to share my personal ranking of all 22 bosses in Bloodborne. This is not going to include the Chalice bosses, mainly because I haven't fought all of them yet. I do want the Platinum Trophy, so I will fight Queen Yharnam eventually. Some of the stand out Chalice bosses are the Undead Giant, Keeper of the Old Lords, Watchdog of the Old Lords, Headless Bloodletting Beast, and Queen Yharnam. Keep in mind that this is the opinion of one person, so if you disagree with me, please don't hate me afterwards. I will have pictures for some bosses, but not for every boss. Here we go. #22: Orphan of Kos FromSoft, I never wanted, and I never will want, a naked guy beating me to death with his placenta. Just the thought of that makes me want to vomit. Getting past how fucking disgusting this boss is, I hate the fight. It is so unfair. How the fuck are you supposed to kill this thing? I have no idea. I could talk all day about how much I hate the Orphan, but I'm going to move on now. Overall, I hate this fight, and I wish that Kos would have had an abortion. #21: The Witch of Hemwick This fight is easy. Too easy. I like the idea behind this fight, but I hate the way that it turned out. Half of the fight consists of running around like an idiot while looking for an invisible punching bag. This is the only boss in the game that I have never died to. Overall, a really good concept that turned out very poorly. #20: Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos This fight was very disappointing. I had heard that Ebrietas was difficult, and she's not. At all. I've died during this fight once. I don't really have much to say, because this fight isn't very memorable for me. #19: Micolash, Host of the Nightmare This fight is boring. Hilarious, but boring. The chase is funny, Micolash's terrible voice actor is funny, but his A Call Beyond is fucking bullshit. That is why I don't like this fight. I have nothing else to say. I don't dislike Micolash, but I don't like him either. #18: Celestial Emissary This fight sucks. I like it, but it sucks. I do, however, have to respect these blue goobery motherfuckers. They killed me twice on my first playthrough. (Deep Respect) 17: Living Failures The Living Failures are a good boss, but I don't think that they should go higher. These guys can kill you very quickly, so that is bullshit. That guy that you can summon (I'm not even going to try to say his name) helped me very much. Overall, a fun fight the first time around, but it is not after that. At least there is something very memorable coming afterwards. #16: Blood-starved Beast Easy. Too fuckin' easy. Apart from the poison, this fight is almost effortless. That is really disappointing. There are a lot of great beast bosses in this game, but good ole' skin flaps is not one of them. #15: The One Reborn The One Reborn is the first boss on this list that I really like. This fight is really fun. It's not too hard, but not too easy either. It brings back some memories of the second best boss in Demon's Souls, so that's pretty cool. I could talk all day about how much I love this fight, but I don't want to waste your time, so we're going to move on. #14: Mergo's Wet Nurse Mergo's Wet Nurse is a very great fight. I really enjoyed this fight, and I still do. The music gets a bit annoying after a while, but that's very minor. The boss looks really cool. On my first playthrough, I found her to be very hard, but now she's pretty easy for me. As one of the three possible final bosses in the game, this fight is certainly one of the most memorable for me. #13: Amygdala This fight is great a great way to conclude one of my favorite areas in the game. The Nightmare Frontier is a very fun place for me, so having a fun boss at the end was very nice. The fight is very balanced in terms of difficulty. It reminds me of the Last Giant in Dark Souls 2 when it rips off its arms, so that's pretty neat. I don't have anything else to say about Amygdala, though. It's a great fight, so I don't need to say more. #12: Cleric Beast The badass entrance really defines how this fight is about to go: a very badass fight. The Cleric Beast makes very cool noises, and he looks really cool. Not as cool as his long lost brother, but still very cool. The fight is pretty easy, but this is the tutorial boss, so it's supposed to be easy. Then again, try telling that to Vanguard. #11: Rom, the Vacuous Spider This fight is amazing. The arena is one of the most beautiful in the series, which instantly makes this a great fight. This is the first example of a fight where the difficulty is perfect. It's very balanced. I'm not very familiar with Rom's lore, so I can't really say much about that, but I can't imagine her lore being bad, since the only boss in the series with lore that I don't like is Slave Knight Gael. This fight is so damn good, and the fact that it is not in the top 10 only shows how good the next ten bosses are. #10: Martyr Logarius This the first boss on this list that I can genuinely respect. However, his fight slightly disappointed me. He was not hard at all. I only died to Logarius once, and that was just because I was out of Blood Vials when I got to the fight. The music is bad, so that takes away from the fight. His spells are really easy to dodge, which drastically decreases the difficulty. Also, any boss that can be parried is almost never going to be very hard. There are two exceptions to this, but Logarius isn't one of them. #9: Vicar Amelia I'm sorry, Plague. I love Vicar Amelia, but she can't be any higher. She is an almost perfect fight that is nearly ruined by one thing. It is the same thing that nearly ruined my experience fighting Raime the Fume Knight: that god damn healing ability. That makes what could have potentially been a top 5 boss a very frustrating experience. You can tell how much I like this boss, seeing that I put her higher than Logarius. That healing ability is the only flaw to this fight. Also, Amelia is not a bad waifu. A lot of people prefer her in human form, but I would go for dat beast booty. What the fuck am I saying? #8: Moon Presence The Moon Presence is a perfect conclusion to my favorite video game. The lore is very good, the fight is very fun, and the difficulty is decent. The only reason that this badass isn't higher is not even a problem with the fight. It is what came before the Moon Presence. This is a very great fight, but it is slightly overshadowed. #7: Shadows of Yharnam I had no idea that we were in Middle Earth, but I guess we are. This fight is so underrated. I love this boss. It finishes off a great area, so that's a bonus for the Nazgul here. Is there a single flaw with this fight? No. There really isn't. I wish that I could get their attire. As long as they don't try to kill me to take the Ring of Betrothal that I was going to give to Lady Maria, then they will always be one of my favorite bosses. #6: Darkbeast Paarl This is easily the most underrated boss in the game in my opinion. What is there to dislike about this fight? Paarl is too cool. He makes the second best sound in the game, he looks really cool, and the fight is really great. It is very fast paced (I think I'm sayin' that right), and gets my blood pumping. I love this fight so fucking much. He is, in my opinion, the second most underrated boss in Soulsborne, after Lud and Zallen from Dark Souls 2. #5: Laurence, the First Vicar Words cannot express how much I love this boss. Laurence is a great fight. My limited and flawed understanding of his lore is really great. The lore in this game is easily the best in Soulsborne, and Laurence is probably the most key character in the story. He looks super fucking badass. A flaming Cleric Beast? How could you not love that shit?! And, guys, don't even try to tell me that Laurence's screams don't give you chills. (Listens to Laurence's scream) Ooooh, god. It's like an auditory orgasm. I fucking love this fight so fucking much. I even conisdered putting Laurence at number one. That shows you how great this fight is. #4: Father Gascoigne A long time ago, Gascoigne would have been number 1 on this list. I still love this fight, but not as much as I used to. If there ever was a fight that perfectly described Bloodborne, it would definitely be Gascoigne. The transformation at the end of the battle is what makes this fight, honestly. His lore is also really good, and very tragic. #3: Ludwig, the Holy Blade I hated this fight my first time playing the DLC. His second phase is very hard. The lore is very unmemorable for me, but the fight makes up for that. Ludwig looks awesome, has a pretty creepy voice, a disgusting intro, and a really cool mid-battle cutscene. It's a shame that the only rewards are a bad rune and a horrible weapon. #2: Gehrman, the First Hunter Gehrman is a boss that I will always have a small amount of hatred towards for killing me 12 times on my first playthrough. He is so difficult. Of the three possible final bosses, he is without question the best and hardest. I love this fight. The arena is easily the second most beautiful in Soulsborne, the music is absolutely perfect, and the lore is probably the third or second best in the series. The opening cutscene is the best in the series. The epic show down between the first hunter and the last hunter could not possibly be better than this. I kind of wish that we could get Gehrman's set, but you can get a variation of it, so I won't complain. Overall, this fight is absolutely flawless. #1: Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Best. Boss. Ever. Nobody loves this fight more than me. Don't even try to deny that. The music is really great, the arena is pretty cool, the lore is flawless, and there is nothing bad about this fight. Along with Sir Alonne, Maria is my favorite boss in Soulsborne. She's also my number 1 waifu. There is nothing bad about her fight. It is flawless. The intro is cool, she wields my favorite weapon, and is just a straight badass. The only complaint I have with Maria isn't even a problem with the fight. It's a problem with the entire game. At least for me, the fight isn't very hard. She is very easy to parry, which makes the fight a lot less difficult. She should only be parriable in phase 1. That takes nothing away from this fight though. I love Maria so damn much. This took me two hours to make, so I hope you enjoyed it. Did you agree with my list? I hope so. Tell me what you think in the comments. Category:Blog posts